Time goes by... :)

Be warned: This post is going to be a mix of things...

First, I am already 29 y.o. and a week (;p). Wow.

You would not believe if I told you that just this friday a guy tried to pick me up at the metro when I was returning home. This is not the unbeliveable thing, I hope.. But that he asked me my age and told me to my face that he thought that I was 18/19 y.o.... He either was so keen in having some luck that he fooled himself to believe that I was young and naïve or was further pushing is luck by trying to flatter me. Though I think it was the former, he asked me the strangest questions, such as if I was going home, where did I live, if lived with my parents or by myself, if I wanted to friends with him (who I had just met)... As if I was going any of this questions to a stranger... I was both amused and shocked.

Actually, I have been told that I look younger than my age, but I really think its pushing a bit to much to say that I look 10 years younger...

So this was the part dedicated to time concerning my age. I will not address the typical issues. Sometimes I do not even believe that I will be 30 in a year, but I do not really think that I would want to go back to college or even teenagehood.

The second part concerns another measure of time, the one related to relative time. How things that sometimes occurred long ago seem recent or things that are recent appear to be from a somewhat distant past. A few moments back, while I was surfing the internet I decided to go to a certain artist site/blog/whatever. This artist is named Van Ness Wu, that I got to know through a taiwanese drama that I watch a while back. He happens to also be a singer and a heck of a dancer (guys who CAN dance just kill me...). Not so long ago he released a Japanese single, that I got addicted to when I started reading stuff for my thesis project and during February I replayed this song all the time. But I have not listen to it for awhile know, and today I decided to listn to it again. And it seemed that that period of time was so long ago that I was surprised, only 3/4 months have passed...

Having said all this I decided to share is song with you guys.

VanNess Wu - Reason

(credits to 99yuchi @ YouTube)

Long time no see...

I know... I' ashamed... Almost two months without posting (and the blog police has been mum about this, which surprises me more...).

Life has been hectic these past 2 months, too many hours working. I know that it was my choice, but I still have the right to complain about it. So I am bit on the tired side, and that means either lack of inspiration or lack of wanting to come here and write. Right now I am writing so I can proscratinate a bit more, I have something to do for work... :)

In order to completely succeed in my proscratination, I decided to share some music with you guys. I remembered this music in particular because of a CD that was given to me about 4 year a go by a good friend with whom I have been out of touch (Hope that everything is alright with you?). This CD is a compilation of albuns that he thought I might enjoy, among them there are two of Zero 7. One of my favourite song of them is Destiny, that I decided to share with you:

Zero 7 - Destiny

(credits to ub4k @ YouTube)

I do not consider myself a feminist, but...

... there are things that are beyond my comprehension. And this is one of them (please click on the picture to enlarge and read the text):

 

(credits to whoever first posted this online)

I know that we are talking about a completely different decade. the World was a completely different place in the 1960s. But still, to me, it is shocking to see something like this written and to actually acknowledge that this was the kind of role that was expected from women at that time: unopiniated, obedient, complaint to your husband's wills (whatever they are) and untitled to even feel pleasure... wow...

And I think that I will leave you with that, because I might start exposing my opinion too fiercely...

I would like to "hear" your thoughts on this.

Strange Moods...

There are days that you just feel like crap... you might not really know the reason for you to feel like that, but that depressing feeling will accompany you from the time you wake up until you go to bed. You might even still feel the same the next day...

Just a random outburst... Everything will be fine in a few days. Sometimes being a girl is complicated!! lol

First Insomnia in Months...

Some wounds run deeper than what you think. Even though on the surface they seem to be more or less healed, some insignificant thing might bring back the hurt...

I really need to sleep!!! Tomorrow is a holiday here, but I have to work and wake up at 7 o'clock in the morning... It is going to be a tough day...

This time a year ago: Independence Day @ San Francisco

It's hard to believe but a year as already passed since I first arrived in San Francisco.

Even though I did not write anything on the 30th of June, the actual day that I left Portugal, I spent most of the week thinking that it's been a year. I remember that at the time I was really happy to be able to be in the US for the 4th of July, because I know that it is an important date for the Americans. Unfortunately, due to heavy fog (what a surprise fog in San Francisco...) at the end of the day we were not able to see the fireworks. However, during the day we went visiting the outskirts of San Francisco and went to Muir Woods National Park to see some Redwoods (Sequoia sempervirens).

Here are some of the photos that I took at the time:

Crossing the Golden Gate Birdge for the first time. (You can actually see how heavy the fog was that morning...)

First time stepping on a beach at the Pacific Ocean.

Just something I found curious.

Some of the great views surrounding San Francisco.

A fallen redwood, showing the actual age of the tree, it was born in ~989A.D. and fell in 1930.
Several important dates are marked.

Actually, the July 4th is also a holiday in my hometown. :)

'Gayby boom': Children of gay couples speak out (in CNN.com)

I just read this article and found it really interesting.

It talks about some preconceptions most people have about children raised by gay/lesbian couples, one of them being the influence on the sexuality of these children. They say that studies that have been carried out showed that the number of children that define themselves as homosexual is roughly the same found for children raised by heterosexual couples, something that I always thought.

Please read and come to your own conclusions:
'Gayby boom': Children of gay couples speak out (in CNN.com)

Side Note: This is the first time in a very long while that I have posted an news article.

An update on my life...

I'm alive!!

Wow, I haven't written for two months... that's a really long time. I'm sorry!

My life has been very boring and somewhat uneventful for the past months. Being at home trying to find a job can be really depressing... So, my inspiration to write has been close to none. HOWEVER, last week my luck changed and I will be starting my new big life adventure this September. :)

In the mean time, this blog has celebrated it's 2nd anniversary and I completed 28 years of existence (even though I don't really feel like I am that close to 30...). The proximity of my birthday made think about a lot of things and I spent of May thinking about what as happen in the past 10 years, and got amazed by how much time as passed since I entered university, I graduated, went to Porto and left from Porto. I really cannot say that the last 10 years have been uneventful. Of course there were times when everything seemed to not go my way, but life is like that, and fortunately after sometime you develop a tendency to mostly remember the good times.

Continuing with the topic of my age, this weekend my youngest cousin (he's 13 y.o.) was here and while talking with him, he said that wasn't that old. This made me ask him in what year did he think I was born in (few minutes previously I had, jokingly, said that it was good to be 18...), he thought for awhile and said: You were born in 1990. Then, he stopped to think and said: Hey, you cannot be only 5 years older than me!! So, I asked: So, how old do you think I am? Him: 22? Me: No. I am 28. He: I take back what I said, your getting old... Ouch!!! :)

What is funny in all of this is that when I was his age I thought the same thing, more I thought people almost in their 30s where really adults, much more adults than what I feel. But time has showed me that age is something that is not always what it seems to be.

Since my mood has improved significantly over the past week ,and I think it will continue like this for some time, I hope to make a better job in keeping this blog updated.

One of the most "easy" things to do is...

... to try and forget about oneself. Until it comes a day when you can no longer do that...

A random update :)

Yesterday, for the first time I do not know in how many years I went to the Circus.

To be honest I was never a big fan of the Circus, but yesterday I decided to go with my Grandparents, my older sister and my nephew. It wasn't as bad I expected, the animals were well fed and treated, and every one did a very good job.

One of the most interesting things was the soundtrack. And that is the reason for this update, because during one of the presentations the song that was playing was Burn by The Cure, from The Crow soundtrack. I hadn't heard that song for I do not know how many years and I can't seem to stop to want to listen to it (fortunately my younger sister bought the CD a few years ago).

This movie belongs to another life... in another place...
Sometimes it is hard to believe that certain things did happen, that even though you do not notice it we do change a very small bit every day that goes by. That is what I call personal evolution. Is that what mos people call growing old, becoming an adult?!

I decided to share it here:

The Cure - Burn (The Crow Soundtrack, 1994)
(WARNING: The video might be a bit violent because of the nature of the movie.)

(credit to thedeviantTUBE @ YouTube)

Questions...

One of the questions that comes to me from time to time is:

When you look at me what do you see?

Shouldn't it be:

When I look at me what do I see?

Why is it that it is so hard to look into oneself?

Time goes by fast...

...which is no news for anyone. :)

At this moment I'm still in San Francisco, but the countdown as turned into less than a week. Exactly one week from know I will be approaching Portugal, flying over the Atlantic Ocean. Uau... It's thrilling and scaring at the same time. It's still too early to make sense of everything that has happen for the past 7 months, I need distance to gain perspective, I need time to look into myself without any bias, to take a deep breath and relax. But I can say right now that it was an awesome adventure, with it's usual ups and downs, however I'm completely sure that the final impression will be positive.

My internship is complete. Friday was my last day, such a strange feeling... the time spent there was pleasurable, the people that I met are great and I loved working with my supervisor (the best one that I had by all means!!).

Right now I'm tired beyond measure, I fall asleep everywhere either in the Muni coming home or at a friend's house after dinner. It's really embarrassing!! I cannot really fight it... aiaiaiai

This week will be dedicated to go around town saying goodbye and enjoying the last days in this city. As for the to do list that I talked a few days back it was finally completed today.

• SFMOMA - check
• Asian Art Museum - check
• de Young Museum (not included in the initial list) - check
• California Academy of Sciences - check
• Japanese Tea Garden - check
• San Francisco Pacific Ocean Beach - check
• Glide Memorial Church (also not in the initial list) - check
  
• Alcatraz - check

All these things in 1 month... I had 7 to do all these, but, as the good Portuguese that I am, I left it for the last moment. There where a few times that I thought that was not going to be able to do everything that I wanted... it's seems like I proved myself wrong.

Once I'm back in Portugal and settled, I will post the photos and videos that I made during these visits.

I had so many ideas of what to write in this post, but, as usual, I forgot most of them and got sidetracked...

Every now and then we are faced with rude wake-up calls

Something happens that puts you in perspective and remembers you that nothing in life can be taken for granted...

But on the other hand, you cannot live your life always in fear that something might happen... We can only do our best.

If you could please help: http://findafonsotiago.blogspot.com/

Thank you!

What's really important?

I do not have a definitive answer.

For me this answer lies in the same box as what is truth?, it varies from person to person... the way I experience something is different from the way the person that is right beside me experiences it. Likewise, what is really important for oneself depends on who you are, how you were raised and of your own morals and personal values.

Reality can been seen through diferent perspectives.

That is why we should not judge others so easily, because something that is right for us might be wrong for others... what I hold dear might be different from what you hold dear...

I know that sometimes it is not easy to not judge others. Like every other person on this planet I have also committed this act. After all, we are only human...

All this conversation because I have important decisions to make and decided to avoid the subject by posting another random thought (lol)... See you around!!!

I have a question...

I have been meaning to post this for awhile now... but considering the previous post, and I think I did good to wait (bad excuse for laziness... lol).

And the question is: What stimuli most easily brings back memories to you?

I'll go first... For me there are two, music (a specific type of sense of hearing) and aromas, fragrances or perfumes (sense of smell). I think the first one is an easy guess for who ever has read as few entries of this blog, this one can lead to complete memories or almost complete memories. The second one, usually, brings back the memories of feelings, how I felt at a certain time (it's difficult to explain)...

I would really like to have some answers please, both in the poll that I posted and in the comment section, with more specific answer and examples if possible. Please, Please, Please... I'm really curious.

Since I ask for example, here's one. This music, reminds me of my sisters and cousins, but especially my older sister. When this album came out, I really hated this type of music. In the meantime I have grown very fond of it and it brings me very nice memories

Metallica - Enter Sandman

(credits to MetallicaVideos @ Youtube)

Pleasant surprises...

Sometimes a simple pleasant experience can come from the most unexpected and innocent act.

The most simple gesture can lead you exactly to the right thing for you at that moment. And you can even be unaware of how much you were needing it... You might have a slight idea, but not the full grasp of it. In the end, it might have been your subconscious giving you a heads up when you decided to do that simple gesture or ask that simple question.

The problem is that you might feel the need to repeat it, but you know that either it was a one time thing or due to circumstances that are out of your reach your time is very short.

But at least you experienced it and it will remain a good memory. :)

And sometimes things have the meaning that they have because they are random events.

P.S. - Just another random thought.

P.S. 2 - I want to write much more but I really don't know how to express the thoughts and feelings that are running around my head.

Something funny :)

Sometimes I come to my own blog and expect to see something new!!

Isn't it funny?! Since I am the one who is responsible to update the blog...

I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm curious about what people think of what I write... or even if they read the blog.

And that's the random thought of the day. :)

Drifting

Is drifting being lost?!

Most of my life I have drifted, meaning, I never thought far ahead or made many plans. I was never the type of person who would say "When I grow up I want to be ___ (insert any given profession)!!!". Of course I had my own childhood dreams, to be a Ballerina, but, at the age of 10, school became more important. After that I decided to be a Mathematician, however, when I reached the 10th grade I felt like I was not suited to be one. So I decided to study Biology (seeing that I was so good at that). And I did, I am now a Biologist. I even have a Master's degree in Plant Biology. But, once again, I find myself at a crossroad, in which what I did until now does not give me the pleasure it used to give and the sense of fulfilment. To tell you the truth I did not feel accomplished when I finally defended my Master's Thesis; I felt relieved for closing that door.

But now what?!
What is the next step?!

No one can tell me because that is something that only I ca decide. And, above all, I do not wish to be given the answer. (Well, when I feel desperate I do, but only in those moments!!!)

I feel like the stream that has brought me here has somewhat stagnated. SO, am I lost or without a stream to drive me?!

Is drifting being lost or being a little careless?!
I don't see myself as careless, because, once I engage in something, I will give my all to accomplish it.

Oh well, I think it is now time to find myself a new stream and see where it will lead me.

Does it sound like I believe in fate?!
One thing is certain, I don't believe in coincidences, but I do believe in freewill...

As a final note I have to say that I admire the people who, from a young age, know what they want to be and really do work hard to accomplish their dreams (no matter what comes in their way). They have my full respect.

February - the short month

God!! How can it be that the second month of the year is already coming to an end?!

Some events have occurred in the past month but nothing extraordinary, at least until the of March... What will happen then?! When the time comes I'll make sure to announce it.

Other than that my life hasn't changed much... which isn't very comforting...

How can it be that the end of the month is already here?... grrrrrr

So, to make this post a bit more interesting I decided to post a music video by a band named WOLFSHEIM. This isn't the music video that I wanted to share, but I couldn't find that one. What can I say about this group? For a change they were introduced to me by my Little Sister (who I call my music dealer, :P), they are German (ohh, this is something almost new here, a non-Japanese band), they have been around since 1987 and for more information go here and here.

On to the music video: Wolfsheim - Once in a Lifetime (credit to Ultraviolator for posting it on Veoh.com)

Online Videos by Veoh.com

The strange effects of being alone...

Sometimes being alone for a very long time has strange results... or putting it better, it may cause the appearance of strange thoughts... it might make you start to consider things that you normally would never think... *bitter smile*

Because you know that if you acted in accordance with them you would be fooling yourself and most importantly you would be putting yourself in a situation that you already know how it will end...

But in the end what counts is if you act accordingly with this thoughts or if you decide to take your time and let you rationality make her work...